Whatever goes on in our mind is what goes in our lives. If you have a chaotic mindset, then chaos will occur in your surroundings. How you view the world is how the world will play out for you. If you want to have a peaceful life, you have to learn to make your thinking peaceful. So how do you make your thinking peaceful? You work by becoming aware of your conscious thoughts and begin to alter them when negative or worrisome thinking comes up. One great way to become aware of your thoughts is to write a journal about your day and then after each week look back at reoccurring thoughts that occur. Whatever negative reoccurring thoughts that occur, you can begin to transmute those to positive things. Change the thoughts to things or events you want to happen or think how to solve those issues that come up rather than allow the negative thoughts to continue. Also, meditating allows you to become extremely aware of your thoughts. Meditation gives you the ability to regulate what thoughts come up and allows you to work to release them. Not only should you work on releasing negative thoughts, work on replacing them with positive thoughts and intentions. Rather than thinking about what you don't want to happen or what makes you angry, think about what you want for your life. Negative thoughts about yourself, others, and situations will serve no purpose in your life but to create more unhappiness. So what about when something bad happens? How can you keep a positive mind frame? It’s simple, allow yourself to feel sad or upset about the event but think of the ways in which you can better yourself from this event happening. What can you learn form a tragic or difficult moment that can make you better than you were before? The biggest and most successful changes typically come after a significant tragic or life altering event. Tragic events allow us to realize we can be living our lives in a more fulfilling way because life is unpredictable and we never know when it may end. So the next time you think of complaining about your bad day or something bad that happened to, instead think about what the possibilities of happiness and a better life can be for you. Happy thoughts provoke a happy life.
Bad habits are the comfort blankets that keep us safe, and the things that keep holding us back. Sometimes we think we are so far removed from our bad habits, but when we get stressed or feel lost we then choose to go right back to them. So why do we go back to bad habits? We go back to bad habits, because making new ones can be frustrating and scary. Bad habits keep us comfortable and we have something to lean on. Bad habits can consist of things such as drinking, overeating, or going back to a bad relationships. These are all things we know that are not good for us, but we continue to do because they make us feel better and not so alone. But, if we know these habits are bad, why can’t we stop?
Bad habits are self-imposed cages that we put upon ourselves. The cages that we put up ourselves that keep us from doing more, but make us feel alright. These bad habit could be brought upon by the social pressure to be a certain way. For example, it's not ok to be single, so I would rather stay in a relationship that’s bad than be alone. Bad habits can be used to mask our feelings or stop us from feeling anything. Drinking and smoking are often used to mask anxiety and depression. Bad habits are all about living in the moment and not thinking about the future. Bad habits are about self-gratification, with no thoughts of how they ultimately will lead to a much worse place than we are currently in. A large reason, why people don't quit their bad habits is because they see no immediate consequence to their bad behavior. People also often make the same mistakes repeatedly because they have already determined that this is how life is supposed to be. For example, someone that continuously dates unavailable or abusive people will do so because they believe that is what is meant for them. Maybe, their childhood growing up showed them that this is the way life is supposed to be. People also often take behaviors learned from their parents and take on the same bad habits they witnessed. For example, someone that had a parent that was an alcoholic often becomes an alcohol because of the learned behavior and the notion that this is what they are supposed to become.
These beliefs of what we are supposed to become, can be unlearned. The habits that we form to make us feel safe can also be unlearned. Bad habits are nothing more than crutches that block us from being better people. Let go of your bad habit and instead replace it with a healthy belief that you can think and feel exactly how you want and you don’t need anything to comfort you into feeling better. Instead just live a better life. Make changes to your limiting beliefs, find ways to fight the depression and anxiety, and make time to love yourself so you don’t feel alone if you are single. Or rather than overeat, find something that helps you reduce stress rather than mask it, instead try going to yoga or for a walk. All bad habits can be unlearned, and deleted with the help of a new thinking process and the determination to be better than you were yesterday. Delete a bad habit and replace it with a positive one instead. All bad habits have a purpose as to why you do them, find the actual issue behind your bad habits and deal with it head on. Move forward with the ideal that you don’t need anything as a crutch to make you feel good because if you are happy and fulfilled, those bad habits will no longer serve a purpose. So, kick your bad habits to the side, face your issues, and find out what will actually make you happy rather than grab for things that only provide instant gratification.
So what makes failure so scary? Many people are so scared of failure; because it will make them feel like a loser and unsuccessful if they don't succeed. Failure does not need to be the F word that everyone fears. Fear of failure, is simply the fear of not succeeding and being inadequate in life because of it. But, the real truth behind failure is that it does not mean that we are inadequate or unsuccessful just because we did not succeed at something. Failure at something just means that we need to try harder or make changes before we are able to fully reach that success point we are looking for. So if you gong through life being afraid to fail, you are already telling yourself that you are inadequate and do not have the ability to be successful . Being able to accept failure and learn from it, takes confidence and love for yourself. You must be confident in yourself and love yourself enough to know that if you fail at something you have tried for or worked for, it does not make you only less of the awesome kick ass person that you already are. Failing just simply means that you need to grow and learn more before you can reach the goal you are looking to achieve. Failure makes us stronger, smarter, and more prepared. Without failing many times in my life I would not have the confidence to take the risks that I do to reach for my goals. Risk is just a step you must take to reach success, or you will never get there. When we go through failures, we learn to look at and do things differently, we strengthen our mindsets, and learn what it takes to be what we truly want to become. Failure sculpts us in to what we need to be to reach success. Without failure, no happy person or successful person would be where they are today. If you want to reach for the things you desire and deserve, you have to be willing to let your butt hit the pavement a few times before you able to stand on it. Stop being afraid to fail and instead take a risk towards success. Every failure is one step closer to where you want to be. So keep going, strengthen your mindset, stop being afraid to fail, instead learn how to bandage yourself up from the fall and keep moving on towards your goal regardless of what happens.