Confidence is the key to living your best life. Without confidence you can’t get very far on your goals or dream life. The idea of confidence being something you can fake or pretend to be, is something that is harmful. With social media being such a popularity contest, the world is filled with people that are pretending to be confident. But, underneath the surface level persona are people who are uncomfortable with themselves.
Faking confidence is not an option. Confidence is only truly found in empowering yourself and nothing less. Confidence is the act of stepping into your own power regardless of how others feel about you. It’s not about caring what others think and conforming to their ideals or pleasing others so you can be liked, or using material things to build your surface level confidence. True confidence is about owning your spirit and walking in it with all fibers of your being. Confidence is about being in your truth.
Our truth is where our greatness and optimal potential happiness are hidden. Our confident self has nothing to do with degrees, money, popularity, or likability. Being confident is about living life on your own terms and living in a life that you created based on your own needs for happiness. Our greatness or confidence is truly a feeling of inner peace that is found in being our empowered true self.
Confidence is an inner job that can only truly be completed when we learn self acceptance and positivity from within. Confidence is independence of self and high valued self worth. The real truth behind confidence is that it’s a state of being not a feeling. Being confident means being empowered and staying true to your authentic self. It’s a choice that you must make daily not a feeling you must wait for. Confidence is empowerment and owning your greatness from within. But in order to get confident, you have to gain awareness of the ways you disempower yourself. Our environments, limiting beliefs, and connections can take away from us rather than add to us, so begin to understand where you take away your own happiness.
Start moving towards true acceptance and connection to self and don’t ever stop. Do what feels good to you even if no one agrees or understands. Empowered you is a confident you, so choose to step up to yourself and let go of things or people that control your self worth. Your self worth is determined by you, and you need to choose to be the amazing you. Your true essence is amazing and powerful, but it needs be tapped into. Look at all that you have to offer and all the things you dream about doing, and only connect with that. Your greatness is always waiting for you. Just make sure you look inside to always see it.
Your story is something amazing if you let it be. I went from an unhappy, superficial, disconnected life to something I could only dream of. I made the choice to say enough with the life that had feelings of emptiness and yes to a life that feels peaceful. If you can achieve a peaceful and happy story for yourself than that’s optimal. We can’t have a perfect life like many wish to achieve. But, we can have peaceful and positive.
Life will always throw us wrenches when everything is going great, but that is part of living. Life is meant to ebb and flow through ups and downs. Having the best life possible means confidently believing that you can have happiness in all areas. Belief that if you work for a great life then freedom to have the things you want will come to you. Patience and belief are key pieces in achieving your best story. Crafting your story takes time, but first you have some learning to do about your true self and what your really capable of doing. Trial and error will help lead you to a life that matters, but you must try some things before you can truly align with what matters and what feels good.
Learn about what you need in a living situation, a love relationship, and a professional life. Choose things based upon your deeper desires and long term outcomes. Temporary feelings of loneliness, lack, and uncertainty will having you choosing things that aren’t for you. Learn to surpass those negative feelings when they arise, because fulfillment takes time and doubt will tell you it’s not going to happen.
Wait for the things that are meant for you, and keep working to stay positive by crafting a balanced and complete life. Create goals to craft a more optimal story and begin filling in the gaps. The ideal life will not happen in a year, but you will grow each step of the way as you try to achieve transformation. The important part is that you work to change your life to become happier.
Meaning needs to be built into your day inevery way possible. Connect with meaningful people, have meaningful work to do, and have meaningful fun experiences. Don’t just roll home from work and cook frozen food that tastes like crap. Eat food the fuel your energy and makes you feel good. Endulge in a good glass of wine on a Sunday while having brunch with friends. But don’t over endulge. Enjoy and relax through life while also taking moments to work to achieve happiness. And most importantly have goals for each year, and work towards them.
Take three major steps each year to achieve pieces of your story that need improving. Wake up with motivation to make your story better each day and know that you deserve more than what your currently doing for yourself. It’s amazing what changes you can make in a year or two years. In two years, I was able to flip my entire life to outstanding levels of fulfillment and pure bliss. I blossomed into someone that I wish I always had been and so can you.
Book release in late fall:
Stepping Out of Your Comfort Zone: True Essential Guide to Happiness
So, in case you didn't know it...your comfortable life is killing your joy. We all have ways in which we hold ourselves back from being the amazing version that we are really meant to be, and comfort is a key factor in this. Comfort and living predictably is what stops us from growing as a person and reaching our potential greatness from within. So, if living a life of comfort is making us unhappy...then why are there so many people doing this?
Being comfortable is easy and requires little work. Most people are out living a daily life that is secure, easy, and holds little excitement. Depression is often misdiagnosed in a person(oftentimes it's just a person that is unhappy from staying stagnant in their life, not actually someone who is incurably sad). People that are not living up to their potential in life will always feel like something is off. Stagnancy creates depression and feelings of irritability because the person is not truly aligned with who their true self is from within.
When a person does little to challenge themselves or reach for their dreams, then they rarely feel confident or great about themselves. Confidence comes from pushing your limits and seeing what your capable of achieving. Even my 92 year old grandma could tell you this. She is vibrant and living fully because she keeps learning and trying things(baking something different or trying a different hobby). Stepping out of what we know, into the unknown is what keeps our mind and our spirit alive.
There have been Ted talks on this, many psychological studies on this, along with my own personal and professional study on this that show staying in your comfort zone will keep you trapped in your unhappiness. Our mind is what often tricks us into thinking that security is what's best, when it's actually not. Leaving your comfort behind is essentially learning how to live fully as yourself. Learning to train yourself to be uncomfortable and try things, will lead you to a better way of living.
People don't often know how to leave their fears and doubt behind, to let themselves try for more in life. Fear is the main reason why someone stays stuck in their current life of stagnancy. Whether it be fear of failing, fear of losing people, or fear of uncertainty... there is always a fear response behind why you're not trying for things that spark your curiosity. Security is also a major reason why people don't opt for a more fulfilling life. Although security may feel good sometimes, our spirit is going to crave more. And depression will be present when we are always craving more.
Don't be someone that lies to yourself saying you feel good staying stagnant. Stagnancy and long term lack of growth have never left a smile on a person's face. And if your still alive, then just like my grandma there is always time to get uncomfortable. So take one step into what drives your curiousity, and let any feelings of discomfort or fear be your guide to happiness. Get uncomfortable to start living more fully and freely.
*Upcoming book- Stepping Out of Your Comfort Zone: True Essential Guide to Happiness will release in late fall 2018