Why do so many of us hold on to past pain or anger? Why do we allow negative events from our past dictate the happiness we should have presently...? We as human beings tend to hold on to our pain and also build up walls based around that pain. Pain is felt for several reasons such as abandonment, betrayal, abuse, or feeling unloved. Those feelings come out when we attach a feeling to a negative event that has happened to us. Although the event has happened to us in the past, we are still going through feelings that thoughts of the negative event makes us feel. Most people don’t understand that you can control how you feel in any given moment of your day. If your mind wants to rehash a past painful event, you can control you your mind by not giving attention to that event, and you mind will then move on. When we give attention to a painful memory or thought, that thought grows and grows. If you look at your thoughts like small chemical reactions, you will understand that whatever thought you react to will then encourage a link of several other thoughts that relate to the first one. So if you continually entertain negative situations from your past, you are allowing those situations to have control over your mindset. Your mindset is something that can be controlled when you are aware and conscious of your thoughts on a regular basis. If you think positive thoughts, then other positive thoughts will continue to grow in your mind. Even if you don't believe those thoughts at first, you can practice releasing the negative thoughts, and replacing them with positive affirmations.
Once you regularly become aware of your thoughts, you can replace the negative ones more quickly. A painful event that angers us, can only affect our current happiness if we attach the feeling of anger to that event. So how do we release the feeling of anger to an event? We work by forgiving the person, place or thing that caused the pain even if we don’t believe it is justified. The mind holds on to anger often because it just wants to find a way to justify what happened. We cannot relive the past, the only moment we can live in is the present one, and so why let the past control us? We control every moment we live by deciding upon peace at that moment or giving in to something negative. Peace means feeling and thinking of the most peaceful reaction at that point in time. Peace means letting go of anger, having no shame, or blame towards others but instead accepting the current moment as a moment that can be joyful. Each moment can be peaceful and joyful if we allow ourselves to connect with our inner peace and self-love. Release anger, so you can love yourself. When you hold on to anger, you are giving your happiness to that negative moment and disempowering yourself. So why not take back you power, and release the anger. Take control of your present by not living in the past. The only moment we have is now, so why not make now the best moment it can possibly be. Allow now to be filled with peace, love, and nothing else.
Why is everyone so terrified of change? Change is uncomfortable and scary. What makes change uncomfortable? Change is uncomfortable because we can't predict the outcome of it. Change is deemed unsafe because what we have in our current life is safe. Our safety lies within our comfort zone. Our comfort zone can consist of things that are both negative and positive, and also safe because it is what we are used to and can predict daily. Living life without making changes is living life being afraid to evolve. Everything in life is meant to change and evolve. Changes will happen to you, regardless if you want them to or not. SO you can either make changes or they will make you. Eventually all things that are meant to change will come to an end. You can control your journey in life by making changes when parts of your life are no longer working. Or you can do the easy thing and you can continue to struggle with the parts of life that are no longer working. So why struggle when you can choose to change instead? Some people think that if they give up their struggle then they are being weak or it means that they are a failure. In reality we are already a failure, if we continue to struggle. I use to think that admitting I needed to make changes by leaving a relationship; a job or a city I was unhappy with was surrendering to failure. Surrendering to change is actually a success, because you are making the choice to step away from unhappiness. Although, it can invoke fear because you are walking away from things you know, you are putting faith in the fact that things will eventually be better. Fear is the cause of why people don’t change. Fear of failure and fear of the unknown are the most common fears. Fear is what blocks us from making positive changes but also seeing the options that making changes can bring. So what if you make changes and they become mistakes? Well, mistakes are still allowing you one step closer to the missing pieces of to finding your potential happiness and a fulfilling life.
So why not control your journey rather than sit back in unhappiness, watching and waiting for things happen. Take the steps in making positive changes one step at a time, and not in huge steps. When you take small steps, the changes are more likely to be successful. If you embrace change one step are a time, you will not feel as overwhelmed. Changes can be overwhelming when you don't prepare for them, or the possible setbacks that can occur. So how do you handle setbacks? You understand why it occurred, make adjustments and move on using the lesson you learned from it. Changes occur best when you make them confidently and gracefully. When you embrace changes, you must embrace the new in your life. Embracing the new things in life will bring you happiness if you allow them to. Let go of fear of change and the ideas that hold you back from choosing to work towards what you want in life. Positive changes will happen if you have a positive mindset, confidence, strength and the ability to stick to your path of change until you reach you desired outcome of optimal happiness. Be grateful for the things you have been given in your life and life will be gracious to you when you reach for changes to better yourself.
Being vulnerable means truly being you. So why are so many people accustomed to not showing emotions? Emotions are what make us real. Vulnerability is what allows us to have love and respect for who we are and what our live is. Being able to share what you feel and think deepens your connections and allows for strong relationships. Vulnerability is being able to accept failures and mistakes without judging yourself. Having the sense to be vulnerable is having the sense to have love for you. Self-love comes from accepting all emotions that you feel whether they are good or bad. It means feeling sad when something hurts you, feeling pain when you are angry, and embracing happiness when you feel love. All feelings should be felt fully. When we block ourselves feeling from vulnerable we allow hurt, anger, and sadness to build up. When we allow those emotions to build up, we allow walls to build around our true self and our heart. Although society and sometimes our family upbringing teach us to not show emotion or be vulnerable, that is not the way to living a happy or fulfilling life. Trust, love, creativity, and happiness come from vulnerability. Being vulnerable can be extremely uncomfortable at first, but after some time it can be very freeing. Being who you are can mean taking risks, and saying and doing things that others may not accept. By speaking your truths you are no longer blocking what you feel and bottling up your true being. Freedom comes from being vulnerable and stepping completely out of your comfort zone each and every single day. Eventfully, it will become second nature and speaking your truths can feel like a large rock has been lifted off of you. It can take time but if you allow yourself to slowly trust and speak small truths, then eventually you will have no problem speaking large truths. Being vulnerable can change your life because it will open you up to all the opportunities that love, creativity and trust can bring. And those kind of opportunities are the ones that make life worth living.