Without even realizing it, we spend most of our days being comfortable and secure. We do things and say things that make us feel safe and at peace. But, sometimes the things that keep us feeling at peace are the things we need to leave behind. We stay in toxic environments, keep relationships with the wrong people, and we say all the wrong things because those are the things that have helped us remain comfortable. The things that make us comfortable are not typically the things that will help us to improve our lives.
We keep the same friends for 20 years, live in the same city, keep vacationing in the same area without wanting to explore or learn more. By lacking the ability to seek new experiences or want change, we stay stuck in comfort but lost in unhappiness. We become attached to the wrong things while needing to replace them with things that are more suiting to who we currently are. And by ignoring what we need, we stay attached to what feels familiar instead.
So, think about what you are currently doing to stay comfortable, but yet pulling away from your happiness. Are you avoiding uncomfortable conversations about money with a partner because you fear conflict? Are you not asking for a promotion because you cannot speak up for yourself? Are you afraid to leave your hometown for a better opportunity because you don’t want to leave your friends behind? Whether it be something large or something small, some things are keeping you stuck in the comfort zone that could lead you to a better life if you would release them.
If we can release things that keep us stuck, why not realize there are better options and move on? Well… the reason people avoid reaching for better options is that they are uncertain, which then creates fear. Most people would rather stay comfortable and unhappy than take risks to find more happiness. We fear the unknown or what some may consider unsafe. But, if we learned to untrain our minds to avoid staying stuck in comfortable situations and work through fear instead, we will find more life satisfaction on the other side.
By learning that staying comfortable is sometimes that thing that holds us back, we learn to feel better at taking risks and trust the intuition that is guiding us instead. Often we ignore the intuition that is telling us to say something or do something different, but we avoid that thing because it creates fear or anxiety in us. By learning to move forward through fear and delete comfort, we will find that some of our best choices and options were waiting on the other side of comfort.
One of the biggest barriers to happiness and success is a lack of support from within the environment that surrounds us. Often times we find ourselves feeling unsupported and unheard. Whether you come from a wealthy lifestyle or a modest lifestyle, the need for support from those around us doesn't seem to disappear . Then, we sometimes see others with wealth and success and think they must have a perfect background or environment to get to where they are. We also tend to generalize that people with not so steller financial status or negative environment can not be successful.
The need for support and positivity is a human need in all of us, and the status of our lives doesn't interfere with this. I often talk with very wealthy and successful people that are lacking support and emotional connection from those around them. And while working in psychiatric hospitals and doing casework in poor homes when I was younger, the issues were often exactly the same as the wealthy people coming to me today. So I have found that my work for the last 15 years in helping others find happiness, has shown that the ability to find happiness and success is not a direct correlation to where we come from or how much support we have. We in fact can tap into our potential regardless of support or resources. We don't need a supportive environment or positive people to help lift us up to live a life of our dreams.
Our true ability to tap into success and happiness comes from being able to find strength and resilience through failures and lack of support. Many times the people with the most success and happiness actually have very little around them to help them to get to where they are today. Success and happiness, instead comes from an inner willpower to live a better life and to have a purpose filled life. Without support and a positive background, happiness is always still an option. Although a lack of support or feeling like others don't care about you, can make life more difficult it doesn't need to stop you from being happy or successful. Many people are held back or depressed in life because they don't have people that believe in them or make them feel genuinely loved. But, true strength and power will come to us in life by learning to love yourself and believe in yourself fully so that you can see that anything is possible if you step in your own power.
Once you learn to lean on yourself and empower yourself fully, your potential is unlimited. You can create a life that you truly love and feel good about if you believe you are worthy of it. Even if others deem you unworthy of happiness or your dreams that doesn't mean you can’t make them happen. Trust that you can make anything happen and lack of support or a toxic environment around doesn't need to stop you from living your best life.
Does life happen out of your comfort zone? Or is it just a catchy saying to get people to try things that they are’t comfortable trying. Life is a great thing and many don’t see it that way. People live in comfort and spend a lot of time feeling unhappy, sad, angry, or unfulfilled. Being happy and fulfilled are what many struggle with but can’t ever find a long term answer for how to achieve.
The answer to happiness and fulfillment in daily life comes from the ability to stop seeing things through our limited perspective of the world. Becoming open to success, deeper meaning, and happiness in our life is where it all begins. The openness in our way of thinking is what most of us lack, unless we have worked to undo our negative programming in our minds and stop seeing life as a thing to complain about but rather a thing to optimize at its’ fullest potential. And we all have potential to live more fully and more happier than ever but most don’t believe it.
So if belief is something that most lack, then how do we tap into the life we truly desire. The life we truly desire is not beyond reach but rather out of view from what we keep seeing in our thoughts. Our comfort zone is more about leaving the comfortableness of our thoughts and limiting beliefs than it is about taking risks.
Our comfort zone is our mindset, our goals, our preconceived notions of what’s expected, our determined social status, and our sense of what’s important to how we live. All of these things are what usually keep us stuck in a box or comfort zone which constricts us and holds us back from reaching our potential. Our potential happiness and success are almost undetected if we can’t see past what society and our beliefs make us think we are suppose to be living our life as.
And so yes life is much more full on the other side of our comfort zone. But, leaving our comfort zone is a process and one that a person must commit to. A person must commit to working through their mental blocks and preconceived notions of what life is suppose to be and become open to all the things that life could be. Our life can be created according to our true desires not just the things we are settling for. But, we must believe that our optimal life is possible, and in belief there must also be action to make those things a realty.
To learn more:
Stepping Out of Your Comfort Zone- The Essential Guide to True Happiness book (to be released in late fall)