Your story is something amazing if you let it be. I went from an unhappy, superficial, disconnected life to something I could only dream of. I made the choice to say enough with the life that had feelings of emptiness and yes to a life that feels peaceful. If you can achieve a peaceful and happy story for yourself than that’s optimal. We can’t have a perfect life like many wish to achieve. But, we can have peaceful and positive.
Life will always throw us wrenches when everything is going great, but that is part of living. Life is meant to ebb and flow through ups and downs. Having the best life possible means confidently believing that you can have happiness in all areas. Belief that if you work for a great life then freedom to have the things you want will come to you. Patience and belief are key pieces in achieving your best story. Crafting your story takes time, but first you have some learning to do about your true self and what your really capable of doing. Trial and error will help lead you to a life that matters, but you must try some things before you can truly align with what matters and what feels good.
Learn about what you need in a living situation, a love relationship, and a professional life. Choose things based upon your deeper desires and long term outcomes. Temporary feelings of loneliness, lack, and uncertainty will having you choosing things that aren’t for you. Learn to surpass those negative feelings when they arise, because fulfillment takes time and doubt will tell you it’s not going to happen.
Wait for the things that are meant for you, and keep working to stay positive by crafting a balanced and complete life. Create goals to craft a more optimal story and begin filling in the gaps. The ideal life will not happen in a year, but you will grow each step of the way as you try to achieve transformation. The important part is that you work to change your life to become happier.
Meaning needs to be built into your day inevery way possible. Connect with meaningful people, have meaningful work to do, and have meaningful fun experiences. Don’t just roll home from work and cook frozen food that tastes like crap. Eat food the fuel your energy and makes you feel good. Endulge in a good glass of wine on a Sunday while having brunch with friends. But don’t over endulge. Enjoy and relax through life while also taking moments to work to achieve happiness. And most importantly have goals for each year, and work towards them.
Take three major steps each year to achieve pieces of your story that need improving. Wake up with motivation to make your story better each day and know that you deserve more than what your currently doing for yourself. It’s amazing what changes you can make in a year or two years. In two years, I was able to flip my entire life to outstanding levels of fulfillment and pure bliss. I blossomed into someone that I wish I always had been and so can you.
Book release in late fall:
Stepping Out of Your Comfort Zone: True Essential Guide to Happiness
So, in case you didn't know it...your comfortable life is killing your joy. We all have ways in which we hold ourselves back from being the amazing version that we are really meant to be, and comfort is a key factor in this. Comfort and living predictably is what stops us from growing as a person and reaching our potential greatness from within. So, if living a life of comfort is making us unhappy...then why are there so many people doing this?
Being comfortable is easy and requires little work. Most people are out living a daily life that is secure, easy, and holds little excitement. Depression is often misdiagnosed in a person(oftentimes it's just a person that is unhappy from staying stagnant in their life, not actually someone who is incurably sad). People that are not living up to their potential in life will always feel like something is off. Stagnancy creates depression and feelings of irritability because the person is not truly aligned with who their true self is from within.
When a person does little to challenge themselves or reach for their dreams, then they rarely feel confident or great about themselves. Confidence comes from pushing your limits and seeing what your capable of achieving. Even my 92 year old grandma could tell you this. She is vibrant and living fully because she keeps learning and trying things(baking something different or trying a different hobby). Stepping out of what we know, into the unknown is what keeps our mind and our spirit alive.
There have been Ted talks on this, many psychological studies on this, along with my own personal and professional study on this that show staying in your comfort zone will keep you trapped in your unhappiness. Our mind is what often tricks us into thinking that security is what's best, when it's actually not. Leaving your comfort behind is essentially learning how to live fully as yourself. Learning to train yourself to be uncomfortable and try things, will lead you to a better way of living.
People don't often know how to leave their fears and doubt behind, to let themselves try for more in life. Fear is the main reason why someone stays stuck in their current life of stagnancy. Whether it be fear of failing, fear of losing people, or fear of uncertainty... there is always a fear response behind why you're not trying for things that spark your curiosity. Security is also a major reason why people don't opt for a more fulfilling life. Although security may feel good sometimes, our spirit is going to crave more. And depression will be present when we are always craving more.
Don't be someone that lies to yourself saying you feel good staying stagnant. Stagnancy and long term lack of growth have never left a smile on a person's face. And if your still alive, then just like my grandma there is always time to get uncomfortable. So take one step into what drives your curiousity, and let any feelings of discomfort or fear be your guide to happiness. Get uncomfortable to start living more fully and freely.
*Upcoming book- Stepping Out of Your Comfort Zone: True Essential Guide to Happiness will release in late fall 2018
In our lives we have a past that inhibits our thoughts, our feelings, and our reactions. If we grew up in a negative environment as a child, whether it be an alcoholic parent, a neglectful parent, or an abusive parent or relative, the things in which we inhabited unconsciously during those early years often stays well into adulthood. Negative and dysfunctional environments can leave us with adult anxiety or depression, as well as negative thought patterns. If we are not careful, we can perpetuate a negative life based off our learned behaviors from a negative childhood environment.
Anxiety and depression are not a death sentence as some believe. The ability to let go of our negative thinking patterns, change our habits, and release the way in which we tie our present thinking to things that have happened to us in our past is how we can reprogram ourselves to be a happy individual. Through the power of neuroplasticity we as humans are able to replace our negative thinking and habitual habits by learning new experiences, and making new thoughts with our brain.
Our thoughts and our past are not a permanent fixture in our lives as some may think. We have the ability to let go of our past no matter how traumatic the thoughts or how severe the anxiety may be. Our minds, which are similar to computers have a software in which we run our thoughts from and it can be switched out with a new software or way of thinking. Through focusing on new habits, new experiences, and new ways of thinking we are able to switch out our old program for a program that is optimal for living a happy life. By letting go our our past, and hitting the delete button we can revive our lives and have a second chance at a peaceful life.
For thoughts or questions on how to do this, please leave a comment below.